dankpelt said what

Reading this means you're at least smart enough to go down to Kentucky, show them fire, and be their god.

6.25.2004

And They Called It Puppy Love

In keeping with my until now unnoticed (by me, at least) theme of seemingly only posting crap that has to do with animals, I present you a story about a vole.



Kidding, kidding... voles are crazy though, yes? The real thing that caught my eye and made me say, "now that's a story for tellin'!" is about an ugly-ass puppy preventing a killing spree from happening. This despondent Canadian guy decided that what he really wanted out of life was to spend the rest of it in prison. Hmmm... how does one insure that they go to prison for life in Canada? I'll tell you one thing: it's not by petting a puppy. Though if you were to "pet" your "puppy" in some stranger's hotel room while they're sleeping, that's gonna get you a day or two in jail. And they won't let you back in the country... not that I want to go back. Damn lousy maple syrup swilling ithyphallophobes. Did I say me? I meant my friend. Ahem. So anyway, the gist is that this guy set out to kill a couple/few people indiscriminately, but on his way, he ran into that ugly-ass puppy and took a shine to it. Loved it. Pet it. Called it George. By this crazy fucker's rationale, if such a nice puppy was in the area, the people in the area must be nice too. He ended up turning himself in and confessing what he was about to do. Read the official news article about this event HERE.

4 Comments:

  • At 10:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    They eventually let him out though. Turns out his duties as postmaster for a smaller midwesterm ISP supercede the need to keep him off the streets. He got out of the draft the same way.

    That sentence looks weird, but remember:
    supercede is referring back to his duties. Duties supercede.

     
  • At 11:31 PM, Blogger CopperTopp said…

    That Bath story was crazy, stupid crazy people, no wonder no one likes them, cause they are crazy, duh!

     
  • At 3:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    tell that crazy "vole" to quit looking at me.

     
  • At 11:37 AM, Blogger CopperTopp said…

    bastard voles... why won't THEY die?

     

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