dankpelt said what

Reading this means you're at least smart enough to go down to Kentucky, show them fire, and be their god.

8.31.2006

The Lazarus of Lameness - OR - This Site Sucks


He's not laughing with you, gramps

So anyway, I figure I should say something here, as I've told some people I would be using this site again to publish my ruminations and whatnots, however temporarily, until I pay for a new domain name and get some hosting to make my real space in the intarnets again. And, as I look at this page, it really can't come soon enough - this shit looks terrible. So tacky and low-rent. Well, default templates on free blogging sites can tend to look like that. Totally a good motivator to do something about it. If you've never visited any of my bloggy blogs before, I apologize wholeheartedly for how this shit looks... my other one wasn't this lame, I swear. I mean, don't get me wrong - it was lame... but this? Wow. Ok, I'll get over it.

I just watched a trailer for a new Borat movie, and I have to say - suitably impressed. I laughed. I did not guffaw, though... let's not get crazy. Guffaws are special, and it's hard to bust one out for a movie preview. Maybe for someone falling in public that's carrying a bag of apples, or something that would similarly scatter upon impact. One of the rules of the road for laughing at someone falling in public? They can't be old or overweight. Hm, that was two rules. I suck at math, fuckin sue me. Anyway, fat people or old people falling in public is just plain awkward, and I know this to be true, as I've bore witness to the falling of folks representing both demographics. One time I saw a really morbidly obese woman take a corner too sharp in one of those Amigo electric cart things at my local Meijer... 2-liters of Faygo and 300+ pounds of embarrassed woman sent scattering everywhere. Fucking awkward. Like, more awkward than when you would call a girl back in the day, and talk to her mother for a solid 10 minutes, thinking you were actually speaking to her daughter. And yes, I've done that one too. As far as old people go, it's way beyond awkward. As comedian Greg Giraldo succinctly put it: "I slipped down some stairs in front of a bunch of people the other day, and they didn't even laugh. When you fall, and people's first reaction is concern? That's when you know you've turned a corner in life."

I'm going to be 30 in 21 days. Please laugh at me, should you ever see me fall down in public.

51 Comments:

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    Better get a stepladder so you can reach me first, six four.

     
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